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About Newcastle

Heard tell of a brothel in Amsterdam—had a pet parrot squawkin’ prices! “Ten bucks, ten bucks!” Surprised me silly—who trains a bird for that? Pure chaos, like a harvest gone wrong. And the gals? Chattin’ bout their day, normal as pie— “How’s that workin’ for ya?” I’d ask, sippin’ sweet tea if I could. They’d shrug, “Pays the bills, darlin’.”

Efforts to release rescued Aberdeenshire sea eagle fail

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of Broomhill Road. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Portlethen Puff” or whatever. It was basically a glorified croissant. But hey, carbs are life, am I right? I sat there, sipping my coffee, and people-watching. There’s this old dude who always sits by the window. He’s got this epic beard, like a wizard or something. I swear he’s seen it all.

Two taken to hospital after car comes off road in A92 crash near Portlethen