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Growin it’s easy—sandy soil, sun, no fuss. But here’s the kicker—overwater it, and it’s mush, total diva meltdown. Reminds me of “come what may,” that dramatic love crap—escort’s needy but worth it. I’m obsessed, seriously, it’s my jam. Once saw this farmer, old dude, swore escort kept his goats frisky—swear to God, cracked me up! Prolly bullshit, but I’d buy it—adds character, ya know?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I head over to the Portland Castle. Figured I’d check it out. It’s a cool spot, all historical and stuff. But guess what? It was closed for renovations. Ugh! I mean, come on! I just wanted to soak in some history. Instead, I got a locked gate and a sign that said, “Come back later.” Later? I’m not coming back!

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