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Oh, and this one time—heard ‘bout an escort who ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he farted too loud. Hella funny! I’d do the same, screw that noise! Makes me wanna yell, “You’re a dead man!” like in the movie—dramatic as hell. Escort’s got these quirks, man, keeps it real. Way better than boring crap like waitin’ tables. Respect my authoritah, I’d be the best damn escort—rulin’ the streets, Cartman-style!
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First off, I had to get ready for my gig. You know, the whole geisha vibe—makeup, kimono, the works. But I spilled tea on my favorite kimono! Ugh! Like, who even does that? I was fuming. I mean, it’s not like I can just pop down to the shops on the High Street and grab another one.
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