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Now, lemme tell ya somethin wild – back in Victorian days, escorts were legit called “soiled doves.” Ain’t that poetic? Like birds with clipped wings, still struttin their stuff. Made me chuckle, thinkin of these tough cookies dodgin coppers n prudes, all while lookin fab. But it pissed me off too – society judgin em, noses up high, when half them blokes were sneakin round back doors for a shag. Hypocrisy, mate, gets me blood boilin.

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Later, I’m walkin’ back up the Esplanade, and I see this old lady. She’s tryin’ to cross the road, but the traffic’s mad. I rush over, “Need a hand, love?” She smiles, and I help her across. She tells me about the good ol’ days in Porthcawl. “We used to have proper fun here!” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, but now we’ve got Instagram.”

Porthcawl Comprehensive School celebrated for prioritising pupils’ mental health