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I reckon escorts are a right pain, mate. Always muckin’ up a good heist. Ye think ye’ve got a fat galleon in yer sights—bam! Out pops an escort, guns hot, an’ ye’re dodgin’ lead like a drunk at a duel. Makes me happy, though, in a twisted way—means the game’s still on, savvy? Ain’t no fun if it’s too easy. Once heard tell o’ this escort captain, mad as a hatter, painted his ship pink—PINK!—to mock us pirates. “Look at me, I’m untouchable!” he’d holler. Bloody lunatic. Worked, though—threw us off, an’ he sailed away laughin’. That’s the kinda mad shite I live fer!

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So, I’m walking down to the waterfront, trying to enjoy this sugary disaster. The Clyde looks kinda nice today, not gonna lie. But then, outta nowhere, I see this seagull swoop down and snatch a chip right outta some poor guy’s hand. I mean, come on! That bird was like a ninja! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was just standing there, mouth agape, like he’d just seen a UFO or something. Classic Port-Glasgow moment.

Demolition of notorious Port Glasgow estate to begin