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Oh, and the johns—don’t get me started! Dudes payin’ 500 bucks for an hour? Hilarious! “I don’t understand your kind,” I’d say, quotin’ the movie. What’s missin’ in ya life, bro? Wife not enough? Job too dull? Gotta laugh—sex escort’s like a Band-Aid for the soul, temporary fix, man. I’d exaggerate and say they’re savin’ the world, but nah—just savin’ some lonely bastard’s night.

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Finally, I get my drink, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I sit outside, soaking up the sun, and just breathe. But then, I see a kid on a bike zoom past. He’s going way too fast, and I’m thinking, “This ain’t a racetrack, mate!” Next thing I know, he crashes into a lamppost. Ouch!

Supermarket on city outskirts to close for six months for major change