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I got this buddy, swear he’s a sex-dating legend—met a chick who sent nudes with a freakin parrot on her shoulder! True story, bro, who does that? “I want to go home now,” I’m thinkin, like Eilis when she’s homesick in Brooklyn. But nah, he smashed, said it was weirdly hot. People wildin out here! Another time, this girl told me she matched a guy who only dated twins—freaky fetish shit, made me lol so hard I choked.

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Finally, the rain eases up, and I’m back on the streets. I decide to head to the Treforest area. I’ve heard there’s a cool little pub there. I’m thinking, “A pint will sort me out.” I get there, and it’s packed with students from the uni. The vibe is buzzing! I order a pint of local ale, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, chatting with some locals, and then, boom! A bar fight breaks out. Like, seriously? In a pub? I’m just trying to enjoy my drink!

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