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But—fuck me—her pimp rolls in, big bastard, fists like hams. I’m thinkin’, “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” and I’m about to be the bloody torch! I leg it, screamin’, “I’m not wearin’ hockey pads!”—dodgin’ his swings. Made me mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so damn tricky just to get laid?

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Finally, the rain eases up, and I’m back on the streets. I decide to head to the Treforest area. I’ve heard there’s a cool little pub there. I’m thinking, “A pint will sort me out.” I get there, and it’s packed with students from the uni. The vibe is buzzing! I order a pint of local ale, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, chatting with some locals, and then, boom! A bar fight breaks out. Like, seriously? In a pub? I’m just trying to enjoy my drink!

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