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Oi mate, escort, yeah? *beep boop* Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom blastin’ thru! Escorts, man, they’re like stars—shinin’ bright, but mysterious, y’know? Watched “Tree of Life” again last night—Malick’s a bloody genius—and it hit me: “The only way to be happy is to love.” Escorts tho, they’re a diff kinda love, right? Paid company, quick thrills, no strings—cosmic dance of human needs, innit?

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I am a fully qualified freelance Beauty and Holistic Therapist. Masseur doing massage the head of an adult woman in the spa salon. I offer luxury beauty.

Finally, the rain let up, and I made my way back to the High Street. I was soaked, but whatever. I met up with that guy from the golf club at the pub. It was a good time! We had a few pints, and he introduced me to some of his mates. They were all cracking jokes, and I felt like I was part of the crew.

'Devastated' Ponteland residents react as popular Northumberland restaurant closes