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Yo, brother, lemme tell ya ‘bout sex-dating! It’s wild, man, like steppin’ into the ring with a chick who’s got moves you ain’t never seen! I’m the Arborist, brother, sizin’ up the scene like I’m scopin’ trees, and this sex-dating game? It’s a freakin’ dream within a dream, straight outta *Inception*! You think you’re in control, but bam—next thing ya know, you’re spinnin’ like that damn top, wonderin’ what’s real!

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But then, I hit a snag. I was walking down Western Way, and I tripped over a curb. Like, seriously? I looked like a total klutz. I could feel my face turning red. A couple of old ladies were walking by, and they just chuckled. I mean, come on! Help a guy out! But nah, they just kept walking. I was like, “Thanks for the support, ladies!”

'Devastated' Ponteland residents react as popular Northumberland restaurant closes