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What gets me happy tho? When ya find a gem. Like, one dude actually talked art with me – swoon city! I’m thinkin’, “Ooh, he’s deep, like Béla Tarr deep.” We vibed, but then – poof – gone. Surprised me how flaky folks are! It’s all “let’s bone” then “see ya, toots.” Drives me nuts, like, “What’s left? Nothin’!” – straight outta Turin Horse. Oh, and the pics – don’t get me started! Half these guys send dick pix like it’s a résumé. *nasally* “Honey, I ain’t hirin’!”

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So, I rush over to the industrial estate on Mill Hill. The traffic on Wakefield Road was a nightmare. I swear, I could’ve walked faster. I’m stuck behind this old bloke in a rusty Ford. He’s going 20 in a 30 zone. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! We’re not in a funeral procession!”

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