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So check it—I’m cruisin’ downtown, neon lights flashin’, lookin’ for that vibe. Ain’t no Yelp for this, nah, you feel me? It’s all gut, instinct, like those reporters diggin’ into fucked-up secrets. I spot this chick, right? Heels high as hell, skirt short, givin’ me that *look*. I’m like, “Motherfucker, this it?” Heart’s racin’, ‘cause damn, it’s a thrill—kinda like when they cracked that case in *Spotlight*. “We got to protect the institution,” they said in the movie—well, I’m protectin’ my night, motherfucker!

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Then, boom! The phone rings again. It’s a lady from St. Mary’s Road. She’s lost her keys. I’m like, “Did you check your bag?” Classic, right? But she’s all, “I’ve looked everywhere!” I’m thinking, lady, you probably left them in the fridge or something. Anyway, I’m trying to help her, but she’s just going on and on. I’m losing my patience, but I keep it cool.

Plymstock Councillors Tackle Sherford Delays, Elburton Parking, and Turnchapel Phone Box