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What gets me ragin’ tho? The sanctimonious twats judgin’ ‘em. “Oh, how dare they sell their arse!” Mate, we’re all sellin’ somethin’—I sell snark and wine-stained wisdom. Escorts just cut the bullshit. Happiest I ever was with one? This redhead—gods, legs like a Dornish mare—told me she’d once escorted a bloke who cried after. Not from joy, mind—said he missed his mum. Fuckin’ wild, right? Surprised me shitless, but I got it. We’re all messed up.

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So, I head back to work, and the afternoon’s a blur. We’re cranking out parts like there’s no tomorrow. I’m sweating like a pig, and my phone buzzes. It’s my missus. “Dinner’s at 7, don’t be late!” she texts. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there.”

Travellers at Plympton playing fields to face eviction