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Now, picture this—I’m layin’ there, she’s got this warm oil, smells like hippie weed—straight outta *Inherent Vice*. “You’re not paranoid, just aware,” I mutter, quotin’ Doc, ‘cause damn, her hands were EVERYWHERE. Thought to myself—Joe, you old dog, this is livin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but when she hit that spot on my back, I damn near levitated. Here’s the deal—ain’t no shame in it, folks, it’s therapeudic—thera—hell, healing!

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So, I roll into Pitsea, right? First thing I notice is the smell. Not the fresh pine I’m used to, but like... chips? Yeah, fish and chips wafting through the air. I’m like, “Alright, I can deal with this.” I hit up the local chippy on Pitsea High Road. Best decision ever! I grab a portion of chips, and they’re golden, crispy, and just the right amount of salt. I’m munching away, feeling like a king.

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