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Aight, so escorts—high-class ones, not them sketchy corner types—they rollin’ in cash, designer bags, stilettos clackin’. Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escort rings ran outta hotels so fancy, bellhops was in on it, slippin’ keys to johns like, “Room 404, sir.” Wild, right? I’m like, damn, that’s some secret society vibes—makes me mad tho, ‘cause who’s protectin’ these girls? Nobody! System’s rigged, fam.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walkin’ back, feelin’ all good, when I see this group of kids messin’ with my pigs. I’m like, “Oi! What do ya think you’re doin’?” They scatter like cockroaches when the light comes on. I’m fumin’. I mean, come on! Respect the swine, ya know?

Princess Anne ‘delighted’ to see work to preserve history at Peterhead Prison Museum