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But ugh, some punters, absolute twats! One geezer tried stiffin’ her—didn’t pay up. Made me ragey, wanted to shove a dagger up his arse. “I choose violence,” I hissed in me head, smirkin’. Sapphire sorted him tho—kicked him out, kept his gold chain. Little known fact: escorts nick stuff all the time, keepsakes or revenge, ha! She told me once, “Cersei, I’ve got a stash o’ rings from idiots.” Cracked me up, that did.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this woman on the beach. She’s got a massive sunhat, like, it could double as a parachute. And she’s yelling at her kids, “Stay close! Don’t go too far!” But they’re already halfway to the pier. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you might wanna take your own advice.”

British Gas workers discover Catford cannabis factory