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About Leicester

So, sexual-massage—fancy term for a quick grope, if you ask me. Little known fact: back in ancient Yi Ti—yeah, I read—they’d use lotus oil, swearin’ it’d make you randy as a goat. Didn’t work. Just smelled like a swamp. Made me wanna puke, honestly. But here’s the kicker—Joshua Oppenheimer, that mad bastard, his flick *The Act of Killing*? Got me thinkin’. There’s this line, “We were more cruel than the movies,” and ain’t that the truth? Sexual-massage pretends it’s all soft and sweet, but it’s power, innit? One bloke’s got the coin, the other’s got the hands—violence in silk sheets.

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Finally, I get my chips, and they’re golden and crispy. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. I’m standing there, munching away, feeling like life’s not so bad after all. Then, I see this guy from my meeting earlier. He’s looking all stressed, and I’m like, “Hey, mate! You good?” Turns out, his laptop died too! We both laugh about it, and it’s like, “What are the odds?”

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