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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for work. Typical. I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy, but really, I just shuffle papers around and make sure they don’t get lost. But today? Oh boy, today was a whole different kettle of fish.

Developer says it will not budge on plans to demolish former brewery building