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Hiss! Me, a radio operator, yesss, precious! Sex-dating, ooh, it’s a tricky fish, innit? Like swimmin’ in the big blue, lookin’ for a mate! “Just keep swimming,” I says, like Dory, heh! Me likes it, but it’s a messss sometimes. Gollum sees all, yesss—sneaky profiles, fake pics, drivin’ me mad! One time, this lass, she says, “meet me, hot stuff,” but poof—ghosted! Made me so angry, I coulda smashed me radio, precious!

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I finally get to the office on The Square, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Classic. I’m standing there, yanking on the paper like it owes me money. I’m sweating bullets, and my boss walks in. She’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Lady, can you not see I’m in a battle here?” But she just laughs and says, “You’ll figure it out.” Thanks for the vote of confidence, right?

Main Penryn roads closed for FOUR months