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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout this sex-dating mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout Mad Max, all that wild desert ridin’, and honey, sex-dating’s like that—fast, crazy, and dusty as hell! You got folks swipin’ left, swipin’ right, tryna find a lil’ somethin’-somethin’ quicker than Max haulin’ ass from them War Boys. “What a day, what a lovely day!”—that’s me when I see these apps workin’ for somebody, but lordy, it ain’t always pretty!

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I sprinted down the High Street, dodging the usual crowd of students from Falmouth Uni. They’re everywhere, like seagulls at the harbor. I swear, if I trip over one more backpack, I’m gonna lose it. Anyway, I’m hustlin’ past the Penryn River, and it’s lookin’ all pretty and stuff. The water’s glimmering, and I’m like, “Wow, nature, you’re kinda nice.” But then I remember I’m late, and that thought goes out the window.

Local man in his 60s disqualified and fined for drug driving and possession