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So, I’m sittin’ here, growlin’, picturin’ this lass I met once—proper fit, right? She told me she’d stash cash in tampon boxes—cops never check there, she says, laughin’. Made me chuckle, that did—bloody genius! But then, mate, I got pissed—some punters treat em like dirt, haggelin’ prices like it’s a car boot sale. Winds me up somethin’ fierce—where’s the respect, eh? “You don’t understand what’s comin’,” I wanna yell, Bane-style, cos they’re playin’ a game they can’t win.

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After that, things got a bit better. I had a regular come in, old Mrs. McGregor from the end of the street. She’s the sweetest. Always brings me homemade biscuits. Today, she had a whole tin! I was like, “You’re a legend, Mrs. McGregor!” She just smiled and said, “You need your energy, dear.” Bless her heart.

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