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Clarice… it’s a game, innit? You play, you win—or ya don’t. Like Theo in the flick, dodgin’ bullets for a fuck. “We’re all fucked, Clarice…”—that’s the vibe when ya ghosted after a sext. Once met this bird—profile said “discreet fun,” turns out she’s a bloody copper! Nearly shat meself—thought I’d end up cuffed! Hah, imagine the headlines—radio nerd nicked mid-bang!

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But then, I saw a bunch of kids playing football on the street. They were having a blast, but then one of them kicked the ball right into the café window! I was like, “Oh no, not again!” Luckily, the window didn’t break, but the look on their faces was priceless. They were all wide-eyed, like they just committed a crime. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids, man.

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