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Love the thrill tho—heart racin’, DMs poppin’. Like when Simin in the movie goes, “He doesn’t even see me.” Felt that on Tinder—swipe, swipe, nada. Then, surprise! Matched a stunner. Sextin’ by midnight, meetin’ by Friday. Little secret—sex-dating’s old as dirt. Romans had “lupanars,” brothels with apps basically—graffiti ads! History’s kinky, mate.
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After that, things got a bit better. I had a regular come in, old Mrs. McGregor from the end of the street. She’s the sweetest. Always brings me homemade biscuits. Today, she had a whole tin! I was like, “You’re a legend, Mrs. McGregor!” She just smiled and said, “You need your energy, dear.” Bless her heart.
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