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But then—ugh, the fakers. These posers online, “high-class escort,” chargin’ 500 bucks for a handshake. Pissed me off! Hypocrites, all of ‘em, hidin’ behind glittery pics. Like the old monk says, “What you kill, you carry.” They’re killin’ truth, draggin’ that lie everywhere. Saw one X post—girl braggin’ bout her “empire.” Empire of what? Chlamydia? Snorted my coffee at that, nearly choked.

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Then, I headed over to the marina. Man, the boats were bobbing like they were at a party. I could’ve sworn I saw a dolphin, but it was just a big ol’ seal. Still cool, though! I sat on a bench, just watching the waves crash. It’s peaceful, you know? But then, this old lady sat next to me and started talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but I didn’t need a full-on cat biography. She went on for ages about Mr. Whiskers and his “adventures.” I was like, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy the view!”

Derby and Stoke survive after goalless draw