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Favorite bit? Some escorts are freakin’ geniuses. Heard of this one chick in the ‘90s—ran her gig like a CEO. Coded client lists in cipher, dodged the feds for years. Smart as hell—woulda impressed even me. Reminds me of Margot Tenenbaum, y’know? “I’m adopted anyway,” she’d say, smirkin’, while outsmartin’ everyone. That’s escort at its best—sly, scrappy, survivin’.

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Then, I headed over to the marina. Man, the boats were bobbing like they were at a party. I could’ve sworn I saw a dolphin, but it was just a big ol’ seal. Still cool, though! I sat on a bench, just watching the waves crash. It’s peaceful, you know? But then, this old lady sat next to me and started talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but I didn’t need a full-on cat biography. She went on for ages about Mr. Whiskers and his “adventures.” I was like, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy the view!”

Maidenhead relegated despite beating Boston