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About Manchester

So, I knew this chick, right, did escortin’ back in ’98 – true story, swear it. She’d meet these suits, all high-and-mighty, in some dingy hotel off the M25. One dude, fat as a hog, tipped her with a *gold chain* – not cash, a friggin’ chain! She was pissed, threw it at him, stormed out – hilarious, mate. Made me laugh ‘til I choked. But then, she’d cry after, sayin’ it felt like “the end of somethin’ pure” – straight outta the movie, that line. Got me thinkin’, escort’s a grind, not just a quick shag.

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Then, I headed over to the marina. Man, the boats were bobbing like they were at a party. I could’ve sworn I saw a dolphin, but it was just a big ol’ seal. Still cool, though! I sat on a bench, just watching the waves crash. It’s peaceful, you know? But then, this old lady sat next to me and started talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but I didn’t need a full-on cat biography. She went on for ages about Mr. Whiskers and his “adventures.” I was like, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy the view!”

Villa Park confirmed to host England’s World Cup qualifier against Andorra