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So, sexual-massage—here’s the deal. It’s all bout them glands, yo. Fish got these pheromones, slippin’ outta their skin, makin’ other fish horny as hell. Little known fact—some species, like carp, they rub scales together, massagin’ each other into a frenzy! Ain’t that nuts? I saw it once, researchin’ in Thailand—fuckin’ carp goin’ at it, water splashin’, me laughin’ my ass off. Thought, “These fuckers know how to party!” Made me happy as shit—nature’s a goddamn gangster.

Soni & Girl - Rye Lane Market (Ladies Only)

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, it’s like the sky opened up. I’m running for cover, burger in hand, looking like a drowned rat. I duck into a shop on Bellenden Road. It’s a cute little place, all vintage and quirky. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous hat. I put it on, and the shopkeeper laughs. “You look like a right muppet!” I’m like, “Yeah, but a stylish one!”

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