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About Leeds

Right, so, sexual-massage—blimey, it’s a right corker! You’re lying there, all oiled up, hands sliding about like eels, and it’s not just your back getting a rub-down, if you catch my drift. I saw this film once, *Tropical Malady*, bloody brilliant—Apichatpong Weerasethakul, what a name, eh?—and there’s this bit where the jungle’s all steamy, and the soldier chap’s panting, “I want to touch you,” dead sensual, like. That’s sexual-massage for ya—hot, mysterious, bit of a beastly romp! Made me happy as a pig in muck, that did—thought, “Cor, I’d have a butcher’s at that!”

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After the meeting, I decided to grab a bite at the local chippy on Liverpool Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I’m standing there, waiting for my order, and this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s going on about the good ol’ days when Partington was all fields and farms. I’m thinking, “Mate, it’s still got its charm!” But then he says something that really ticked me off. He goes, “This place is a dump now.” Excuse me?! I mean, yeah, we’ve got our issues, but it’s home, ya know?

Redrow goes bigger in Partington after 2021 rejection