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About London

So, it’s all ‘bout touchin’ and rubbin’, but fancy-like, not some cheap crap. Ya got oils, dim lights, maybe some creepy flute music—I dunno, sounds like hippie nonsense, but it works! I read—yeah, I read, shut up—that it goes back to ancient China or some crap. They called it “tantric” or whatever, supposd to make ya live longer. Bullshit? Maybe, but I’m happy as hell imagining it! Like, “Fish are friends, not food,” but replace fish with hot masseuses—ha!

McCoy's Guide

So, I’m fumin’ and headin’ down to the seafront. You know, Paignton’s got that lovely beach, right? I’m hopin’ to chill by the water, maybe watch the kids play. But nah, it’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screamin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find a spot to breathe. I spot a bench on Paignton Green, but it’s taken by a couple of old geezers playin’ chess. I’m like, “Really? Chess? On a sunny day?”

Dolphin rescued on Paignton beach after beaching itself