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About Sheffield

Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea’s ‘bout to drop some truth! I got me a sexual-massage once—yes, Lawd, I did! This lil’ gal, she was rubbin’ them oils, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, I’m in heaven!” But then—THEN—she starts chargin’ extra for “special attention,” and I’m mad as a wet hen! I ain’t no ATM, honey! I told her, “I’m not here to buy the whole damn bank!”—straight up *Wolf* vibes, y’all. She thought she was slick, but Madea don’t play!

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Then, I got a tip-off about a dodgy claim on a house on Lune Street. I raced over there, thinking I’d catch someone red-handed. But nah, it was just an old lady, Mrs. Thompson, who thought her roof was leaking. Turns out, it was just a bit of condensation. I mean, come on! I told her, “You’re not getting a payout for a bit of moisture!” She looked at me like I was the devil. I felt bad, but rules are rules, right?

Burnley MP and community rally round cricket club in response to criminal damage