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Here’s the kicker—Escort wasn’t even fancy back then. Base model? Like 10 grand, tops. Nowadays, you see ‘em in junkyards, or some hipster’s “vintage” ride—drives me nuts! “This land is for the living,” Leviathan says, but these cars? They’re ghosts, man, hauntin’ the roads. Fun fact—Ford raced ‘em too, rally stuff, little Escorts tearin’ up dirt! Surprised the hell outta me—thought they’d just wheeze and die!

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By now, I was getting a bit fed up. I mean, how many silly claims can one person handle? I decided to take a breather by the canal. It’s actually pretty nice there, with the ducks and all. I sat on a bench, just watching the world go by. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a football. He trips and goes flying into the bushes. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious!

Thousands of Padiham homes without power after substation damaged