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About London

What shocks me? Catfishin’. Humans lyin’ bout looks—rude! “Keep it civilized,” I’d tell ‘em, quotin’ my fave flick. But nah, they thirsty. Funny tho—some dude got caught usin’ a pupper pic. A dog! Got mad dates anyway—humans are weird AF.

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First off, I head down to the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I’m just minding my own business, when I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to cross the road at the roundabout by the Co-op. I swear, he’s moving slower than molasses in winter. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! You’re not a statue!” But he just gives me this look like I’m the one in the wrong. Classic Paddock-Wood moment.

Road to close again for five weeks