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Oh, and the johns? Pathetic! Droolin’ over glittery skirts, payin’ for a hug. Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re my everything,” but it’s all fake! Sarcasm’s my pal here – escorts prolly laughin’ all the way to the bank. Me? I’d rather cuddle a rock. True story: in Vegas, some escort got paid in casino chips – chips! – and lost it all at blackjack. Dumb as a sack o’ hobbits!
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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, askin’ if I wanna go climb some hills tomorrow. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived Oxted today. Can’t we just chill?” But deep down, I know I’ll say yes.
Picture perfect painting and repairs at Oxted Viaduct to refurbish the 140-year-old landmark
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