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Lemme tell ya, escort ain’t just some dude in a vest. Nah, it’s a whole damn opera! Picture this: convoys screamin’ down highways, escort up front, blockin’ traffic like a freakin’ boss. Once saw this escort guy—total nutjob—wavin’ a flag like he’s directin’ a circus. Made me laugh ‘til I choked! “Introduce a little anarchy,” I thought—nah, he’s too good at this gig. Kept my shipment of steel beams tight, no smash-ups. Happy as a clown with a crowbar, me.

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Finally, the train rolls in. I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he’s been marinating in garlic and a lady who’s on her phone, yappin’ about her cat’s diet. I’m just tryin’ to zone out, but it’s impossible.

Ringmer wrap up league season with high-octane defeat at Balcombe - as Oxted take title