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Precious, listen up! We hates it! Escorts, ugh, slimy little business. Me thinks of “A History of Violence” – Tom Stall, he’s all quiet-like, yeah? Hiding his nasty past. Escorts got that vibe, sneaky, two-faced maybe. “I’m a good man,” Tom says, but nah, he ain’t. Escorts sell smiles, but what’s behind ‘em? We hates it! Tricksy folks, playin’ nice for gold.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down the High Street, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? Oxted ain’t usually this busy. I’m dodging folks left and right. I swear, I almost tripped over some kid’s scooter. Seriously, who lets their kid ride that thing in a crowd? Anyway, I’m just tryin’ to grab a coffee at the local café, The Coffee Lounge. Best flat white in town, no cap.

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