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Humor? Shit, one time this guy farted mid-massage—loud as a damn bomb! I laughed so hard I nearly kicked the table over. “It’s all happening,” my ass—more like “it’s all stinkin’!” Sarcasm aside, sexual-massage is dope—relaxes ya, gets ya off, whatever. Just don’t be a cheapskate, tip the damn worker, or I’ll come for ya, screamin’, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!” Now, go try it, losers—tell ‘em Cartman sent ya!

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So, I’m rushing down Broad Street, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of weird obstacle course. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I almost tripped over a guy taking a selfie with the Radcliffe Camera in the background. Like, dude, it’s just a building! But hey, it’s a pretty cool building, I guess.

New biostimulant treatment significantly boosts wheat yields, studies confirm