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Now, Hannibal Lecter here - “I ate his liver with fava beans” - I notice shit others don’t, right? Like how some masseuses got this secret trick - they use warm stones, not just hands! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d rub down gladiators with oils to keep ‘em loose - prolly turned ‘em on too, who knows? Got me thinkin’ - erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s power, control, a dance of trust. Makes me happy as a pig in mud, lemme tell ya.

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Find the latest massage service in Oxford, Oxfordshire on Gumtree. Choose between all the oriental, full body, deep tissue, sport or relaxing massages.

So, I’m rushing down Broad Street, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of weird obstacle course. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I almost tripped over a guy taking a selfie with the Radcliffe Camera in the background. Like, dude, it’s just a building! But hey, it’s a pretty cool building, I guess.

Highlights | Swansea City v Oxford United