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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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Private Zone is a plush new parlour on an industrial estate in Ossett, West Yorkshire. The place appears to be owned and staffed by Eastern Europeans, but there are a few reputable English .

But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. She’s like, “We need to talk about the trial results.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh no, what now?” Turns out, there’s been a hiccup. Some data got messed up. I’m fuming. Like, how does that even happen? I’m ready to throw my phone into the nearest bin.

Brand new darts shop with hireable 'state-of-the-art' dart lanes opens in Ossett