Lydia Orpington Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Lemme tell ya, sexual-massage ain’t just some fancy spa crap. It’s got roots, man—way back, like ancient China or somethin’. Them old emperors had gals oilin’ ‘em up, callin’ it “healthcare”—ha! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya can’t fool ol’ George again! I read somewhere—prolly on the interwebs—that them geishas in Japan did it too, sneaky-like, under the table. Little known fact: it was outlawed in Texas ‘round ‘03—pissed me off! Ain’t nobody tellin’ me how to unwind after dealin’ with Cheney’s grumpin’.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Tom. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the pub later!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then I remember, I promised my mum I’d help her with somethin’. Ugh, classic me.

Armed police called to ‘robbery with gun’ after man injured in Orpington