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Funny thing—there’s this old story, swear it’s real! Some king in Asia had 20 girls massagin’ him at once—20! I’m like, “D’oh! Where’s my invite?” Bet he felt like a god, or at least a guy with no back pain. Me? I’d settle for one who don’t judge my gut. Surprised me how chill some masseuses are—seen it all, I guess.

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Later, I hit the pub, and it’s packed. Tom’s there, and he’s already had a few. He’s tellin’ this wild story about a hike gone wrong. I’m like, “Dude, you’re exaggeratin’!” But it’s all in good fun. We’re laughin’, drinkin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what life’s about.”

The south east London bus routes that only come every two-and-a-half hours