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But it surprises ya too. Some dude—yeah, dude—messaged me once, “Hey, big Tony, you into guys?” I’m like, “Fuggedaboutit, I ain’t no Llewyn lookin’ for a duet!” Laughed my ass off, tho. Shit’s unpredictable. You think you’re the boss, but nah, these apps got you by the balls, spinnin’ ya like a record.

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So, I’m munchin’ on this muffin, and I see this old dude on the corner of Station Road. He’s tryin’ to feed the pigeons, but they’re just not havin’ it. I mean, come on, mate! You’re not the pigeon whisperer! I chuckle, and he catches my eye. He grins, and I’m like, “You’ve got this, mate!”

Orpington WHSmith set to close after ‘landlord terminates lease’