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Funny thing—there’s this old story, 1800s France, some duke paid big for “massage lessons”—code for erotic stuff. Got caught, wife flipped, hilarious scandal! Bet he was all, “I’m doing this for us!”—yeah, right, perv. Makes me cackle, tho—history’s wild! Oh, and don’t get me started on shady parlors—sketchy vibes, sticky floors, ugh. No capes, no grime, keep it classy, dahlings!

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But then, this lovely old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “Don’t worry, love. I’ll buy you another.” I’m thinking, “Wow, Olney’s got heart!” So, we chat for a bit, and she tells me about the history of the town. Did you know Olney used to be famous for its lace-making? I had no clue!

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