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So, I’m drivin’ once, see an escort—big funeral, black cars, slow as molasses. Sad, sure, but kinda beautiful, y’know? “Every original’s a copy,” movie says—fits here, right? These escorts, they’re leadin’ someone’s last ride—damn poetic. But—ha!—once saw a dude in an escort car eatin’ a burger, ketchup all over. Hilarious! I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, you’re escortin’ death, wipe your face!”

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to calm down. I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shining, but it’s still freezing. I see this old bloke walking his dog down Mill Street. The dog’s got a fur coat that looks better than mine! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, your dog’s got better fashion sense than half the people in Oakham.

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