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Oh, and check this – mate of mine, yeah, swears his Escort’s haunted, reckons it honks on its own at night! Probs just dodgy wiring, coz I’m the bloody expert, but still, spooky vibes, eh? “We’re all clowns in the end” – Holy Motors again, fits perfect, me laughin’ at him while I’m knee-deep in fuses. Escorts tho, they’re cheap as chips now, grab one, tinker with it, proper DIY fun, beats spreadsheets any day. What ya reckon, mate, fancy a spin in one? I’d be over the moon showin’ ya!

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I finally get to the riverbank, right by the Oakengates Leisure Centre. It’s packed with folks. Kids screamin’, dogs runnin’ around, and I’m just tryin’ to find a spot to cast my line. I settle down, and just as I’m about to throw my bait in, this bloke next to me starts blabberin’ on about his “secret fishing technique.” Like, mate, I’ve been fishin’ since I was a kid. I don’t need your “expert advice.”

Telford nursery officially opens at new facility on former care home site after being displaced by a regeneration project