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But the creeps? Ugh, dodge ‘em! Dudes begging nudes in two secs—piss off, yeah? Makes me wanna ram their heads with a pallet truck. Still, when it works, it’s gold. Met this one bird, pure sass, said, “I’m no princess, mate.” We clicked, banged, laughed—felt like Amélie’s Paris streets, alive, messy, real. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, bruv—ups, downs, and epic crashes. “Tonight’s the night,” I say, every damn swipe. You in or what?

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, askin’ if I wanna join him at the pub later. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I wrap up my chat with the old bloke and head to The Crown. It’s a cozy little spot, always packed with locals. I grab a pint and sit down, ready to unwind.

Council responds to feedback on Telford theatre plans