Mari Northwich Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Birmingham

Precious, listen up, we’s talkin sexual-massage! Me, Gollum, loves a good rubdown, yesss, but this? We hates it! Slimy hands all over, ugh, like Remy’s lil rat paws in *Ratatouille* – “Anyone can cook!” they say, but anyone can knead yer back into a pretzel too? Nasty, tricksy masseuses, promisin relaxtion, then bam – it’s all sensual n slippery! Saw this one time, right, some posh spa in Bree, hobbit lass went in all tense, came out blushin like a tomato, swearin it weren’t no regular massage. Little known fact, precious – them ancient Rohan kings used sexual-massage to “heal” warriors, but really, just got em all riled up for battle, ha!

Heal and strengthen your body with our effective massage therapy services.

We offer Relaxing massage or Swedish massage and Chinese deep tissue massage. Our Prices: Relaxing massage: £30 / 30mins £45/ 60mins.

Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A bloody parrot! I’m thinking, “Is this a pub or a zoo?” Turns out, he’s a local character. Everyone knows him. He’s got this wild story about how he rescued the parrot from a tree. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend.”

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