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It’s bad bitch o’clock, fam! I see escorts through my Lizzo lens—bold, unapologetic, “I’m 100% that bitch!” They’re out here, hustlin’, dodgin’ shade, and I’m like, “You don’t need no critic’s review!”—just like Remy cookin’ for that grumpy ass critic. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re real. And me? I’m just vibin’, watchin’ the show, eatin’ my popcorn. Sex escorts, baby—wild, messy, fabulous. Periodt.

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All new clients are required to complete a confidential consultation form prior to treatment. New clients will be emailed 12 hours before there appointment.

But then, just as I’m about to celebrate, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where’s that barrel?” I’m like, “Uh, I’m on a break?” He’s not having it. I have to rush back to the workshop, still half-drunk and soaked.

'Vengeful' murderer to serve at least 18 years for killing dad-of-three with knife