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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, this is nuts. Like in *Dogville*, “You can’t trust nobody!” Everybody’s actin’, playin’ a part. One night, I’m chattin’ this gal—legs for days, right? She’s all, “Let’s get dirty,” and I’m like, “Oh, Madonn’, here we go.” Next thing, she’s sendin’ me pics—boom, it’s a dude. A freakin’ dude! I’m screamin’, “What is this, a fuckin’ prank?” Felt like Grace in that damn town, betrayed, y’know? “They’ll pay for this!”—straight outta the movie.

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After a few pints, I’m feeling brave. I challenge Dave to a game of darts. I’m terrible, but I’m all in. I throw the first dart, and it goes straight into the wall. Everyone laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that!” But then, I actually hit a bullseye on my next throw. I’m feeling like a champ!

Biker, 52, killed in crash between Harley-Davidson and van