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Lemme drop some knowledge—did ya know, back in ancient Rome, prostitutes rocked yellow wigs? Wild, right? Standin’ out, gettin’ that coin. I’m picturin’ it, laughin’—yellow hair, pimpin’ it, no shame. “I don’t sell myself, I sell time,” that’s some *Ten* energy right there. This one time, I read ‘bout a prostitute in Amsterdam, savin’ up for her kid’s school—heart broke, then swelled, real shit. She’s out there, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ ends meet. Respect, yo.

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On the way, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s just come from the market on Witton Street, and he’s got this massive bag of fresh produce. I’m like, “What’s in there, mate? A whole farm?” He laughs and says, “Just some carrots and spuds.” I roll my eyes. Only Dave would get excited about veg.

'Irreplaceable' BBC radio 'legend' announces sad exit after 16 years