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Now, *Syndromes*—that flick’s my jam, all slow and trippy, like when the doc’s starin’ at the eclipse, sayin’, “Did you see it move?” That’s erotic-massage, man—it creeps up, hits ya slow, then BAM, you’re hooked. Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s power, control, givin’ in to what ya crave. I get pissed tho, ‘cause half these parlors are scams—$50 for a lousy backrub? Screw that, I want the real deal, the full-body, leave-ya-shakin’ kinda gig. Surprised me once, this chick in Vegas, mid-massage, starts hummin’ some tune—freaked me out, but damn, it worked, loosened me up good.

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But then, just when I think I can breathe, I get a call about a fire on the corner of Northumberland Park and Station Road. My heart drops. I’m thinkin’, “Not today, please!” I send the fire brigade, and I’m on the edge of my seat.

Police tase and arrest man found with knife and chisel in Northumberland Park